Staticfree Blog

Shimon writes about the reality and individualism one faces when school is no longer the brunt of their life:

But planning starts to become appealing once you've left school. The conception of life as an unending journey of 6-month classes suddenly vanishes. After college, I became much more individualistic; the things I do have their most important consequences not for school or for the company, but for my abilities, fitness, happiness, and wealth.

It's often hard to get one's head out of the mindset of school. I find even though I love my job, it's challenging to get past the apathetic college student mentality. Routine still feels a bit forced and undesired, despite its obvious benefits. I get to work at 12:30 and then yell at myself, asking, "why didn't I get in sooner? I could have gotten so much more done." Then I look at why I didn't: I was up until 05:00 reading websites and chatting with friends, working on a project, or otherwise being social. I was simply trying to live the life I enjoy living. I then I fail to get up at my 08:00 alarm - my body likes 4-6h of sleep, not 3h. Eventually when 10:00 rolls around, I get up and out the door by 11:00. 1h30 of transportation later brings me to 12:30. Then I work late to make up for lost time, come home late, and then stay up to do what I enjoy doing.

These habits must change, but with change comes sacrifice. I am constantly getting frustrated with them, but unwilling to change them for fear of losing a bit of myself in the process. Why must I give up my quiet 04:00 evenings? Is the job I work at worth it? Can I function in a society being offset from everyone else by 4 hours? It's these questions I still need to answer.

And come spring, I'll be back at school. Midnight laptop parties in the coffee shop, hanging out on night roofs pondering pitas: friends and lovers, distant and near, live and let live, without ever fear. The habits are reborn and refreshed, the "responsible" intern is once again a college student.

Maybe someday I'll shake these bad habits. Someday I'll be responsible for more than 4 figure bank accounts. And someday, maybe if the world breaks my will, I'll get up at 8am, have 2.5 kids and a flower dress -clad wife.

Time will tell what I'll become,
but I shall choose my own kingdom.
My choices made will shape my way
as they have done up to this day.

Aside: this post was entirely written and posted from moving vehicles: started in a train, then finished and posted from a car. Oh how I love portable wireless technology.

Update: Um, yeah. I had linked to the article Shimon linked to instead of his article itself. Whoops.